Another banner week for stupidity
The chance of finding intelligent life elsewhere in the universe, say some British scientists, is getting better thanks to recent advances in optical imaging technology. That’s nice, isn’t it?
Now, if we could, with the same assurance, predict the existence of sentient beings right here, on good old planet Earth, we’d be all set. But given the week that was, I must confess to a certain scepticism.
Witness the drubbing the U.S. Democratic Party took in a Massachusetts election held to fill the late Ted Kennedy’s empty senate seat. It would have been a walk for the dems, but for the high-jinks of their contender Martha Coakely, who refused to shake hands with supporters outside Fenway Park and, on one occasion, failed to help an onlooker to his feet after he was inadvertently knocked to the ground by one of her campaign staffers.
As a result, the future of health care reform, climate change policy and long-term economic development rests with Republican Senator-elect Scott Brown, who once posed semi-nude for Cosmopolitan and who, during the campaign, couldn’t resist showing people his truck to prove just how regular a fellow he is.
Why does he hold the keys to the castle? For reasons that astound, in the American system of government a simple majority is not enough to prevent legislation-killing filibustering. That means one man or woman can, theoretically, hold a nation of 330 million hostage to whim or malice or garden-variety politicking.
Turning north, we observed federal Fisheries Minister Gail Shea delivering a speech in Burlington, Ontario, just before getting gob-smacked with a cream pie in protest over Canada’s refusal to ban the seal hunt. “Shame on you Gail Shea,” the activist screamed before the cops restrained her.
To her credit, the minister handled herself with admirable forbearance, considering the pie was made with tofu. Others immediately wondered whether the assault could be considered an act of terrorism as any offense that’s designed to send the message, “See how easy that was; I can get to you at any time” comes close to the technical definition of the word.
In other news, New Brunswick Liberal MLA T.J. Burke earned international attention for his rendition of “Pants on the Ground”, a song made famous not long ago by Atlanta resident Larry Platt during an audition for American Idol. Burke was responding to opposition questions about the NB Power/Hyrdo-Quebec deal when he accused Conservative Leader David Alward of having his “pants down”. He then began rapping “Pants on the Ground. . .Pants on the Ground.” The performance went viral on YouTube and other social media sites, prompting an American Idol producer to ask Burke if he could run the clip on an upcoming segment.
Though the video provoked roars of laughter almost everywhere, some die-hard Liberal haters noted how Burke’s hip-hop break-down proved, without doubt, the Graham government’s utter lack of leadership – a sentiment that prompted others to wonder whether right-wing punditry and a sense of humour are mutually exclusive quantities; oxymorons with the emphasis on the word’s root, if you will.
Finally, according to the Canadian Press, “The RCMP and federal officials weren’t saying much Wednesday about the reported sighting earlier this week of mysterious missile-like objects in the sky off southern Newfoundland. Darlene Stewart of Harbour Mille told CBC News she was outside taking pictures of the sunset Monday when she saw something fly overhead. Her picture shows a blurry image of what appears to be a missile-shaped object trailing flames or smoke.”
The incident sparked the predictable flurry of speculation about extraterrestrial visitors, which, if recent news from the front lines of science is credible, may be entirely possible. On the other hand, if these space-farers are intelligent, another question arises.
How would we, of all people, recognize them?
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