On the subject of bridges and the burning thereof, former Goldman Sachs executive Greg Smith’s resignation letter – which was published in the New York Times last week and has since become an overnight sensation among the twitteratti – smells more like a job application than the charred timber of a once-charmed career.
In fact, it’s disappointingly reasonable.
“It might sound surprising to a skeptical public, but culture was always a vital part of Goldman Sachs’s success,” he writes. “It revolved around teamwork, integrity, a spirit of humility, and always doing right by our clients. It wasn’t just about making money. It had something to do with pride and belief in the organization.
“I am sad to say that I look around today and see virtually no trace of the culture that made me love working for this firm for many years.”
He’s right. That does sound surprising to a skeptical publican like me. It’s hard to imagine “culture” playing a bit role, let alone a “vital part”, at a firm whose shenanigans were so entrenched and for so long that they helped bring down the entire western financial industry in a conflagration of wanton greed.
But, I digress.
There’s a way to quit a job, and there’s a way to quit a job. HR professionals will tell you to be polite and graceful. And they have a point. Of course, so did your mom when she told you to turn the other cheek on your playground tormentors.
How’d that work out for you?
Personally, I prefer the Johnny Paycheck approach to elevating an avian creature in one’s upraised right hand when heading for the door. Naturally, the Internet brims with examples of this particular exit strategy.
Consider a few reader posts to workplace happiness guru Alexander Kjerulf’s web site. There’s no way to determine whether they’re genuine or merely apocryphal. Still, they’re trenchant:
“Dear Boss. . .Thank you for offering me a new contract for the next working year. Unfortunately, I won’t be accepting it. . . I now realize that people like you should not be working with staff or children. You are a bully and you are fat!”
Then, there’s this:
“Dear [redacted]. . .I am giving you my two weeks’ notice of my intent to leave your employ. I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for the enjoyable time I spent working (for you), but sadly I have been brought up not to lie.”
And this, my favorite:
“Dear Boss. . .I am certain that the subpoena you sent to my home was a mistake. The computer I took from the office is still in the parking lot where it fell out of the window of our 32nd floor office when the chair broke through the glass and caught on the power cord of the computer. I know it’s still there because I used the confidential file folders to sweep up the broken glass from the monitor as I didn’t want. . .to get any glass. . in the already flattened tires (of) your Mercedes.”
Infantile, certainly. Satisfying, indubitably.
Still, one doesn’t want to make a habit of this sort of thing – not in a world where long-term employment, in which mom and dad secure their happy homes with incomes sufficient to meet their families’ needs, is fast becoming a fable told to comfort youngsters at bedtime.
Perhaps, then, the Goldman Sachs expat is only exercising the better part of his discretion when he concludes his missive thusly:
“I hope this can be a wake-up call to the board of directors. Make the client the focal point of your business again. Without clients you will not make money. In fact, you will not exist. Weed out the morally bankrupt people, no matter how much money they make for the firm. And get the culture right again, so people want to work here for the right reasons. People who care only about making money will not sustain this firm – or the trust of its clients – for very much longer.”
In other words, Mr. Smith needs a job.
Alec Bruce is a Moncton-based writer on politics, economics and current affairs. Check out his other blog here at Atlantic Business Magazine (ABMOnline): The Uneasy Chair.